Rumpled up perfection. I love how ordinary moments are nothing short of extraordinary which, is why I try to savour each one and not let the moment pass me by. #dontchasetherabbit The way my shoulders burn when I dip my paddle into the water again and again is smoothed over by the breeze against my freckled skin. #dragonboating. I miss the mountains and the ocean when we are separated, a west coast girl through and through. #vancouver. The energy exchanged when your at a live show is something that has been constant in my life. #localmusic. Fighting the good fight towards equality #feminism #gender stratification. I'm inspired by beautiful things. #fashion #moodboards. I am held together by the brilliant people in my world. #family #besties. Here are my thoughts strewn on these pages as I stumble through lived experiences of life, love, loneliness and the pursuit of happiness. #prose. I love to create conversation make sure you drop me a line in my #ask box. I do not own any of the images unless stated please see all source links. The writing is mine unless otherwise stated. #disclaimer
I have always been pretty with a but… attached never just beautiful.
The first time I fell a little deeper we were sitting on wooden stools. Sipping identical beers. You told me stories of your transformation. These actions which I believed led to our collision.The first time my black heart almost spilled out over you. We were tucked under a bridge and looking out towards the ocean. I looked at that glint in your eyes and my black heart tried to push the words from my lips. Instead I closed my eyes touching my lips to your lips trapping my words behind kisses. I knew it for sure when our words and miscommunications bruised each other. I hurt because you hurt. Yet I wait until I can infuse enough courage into those words I long to tell you so bad.
What makes me different is the sadness that lives in my black heart. What makes me different is the feelings that rush my brain and my body. It is how I am having to constantly be conscious so that I don’t drift away in a flash flood of my own tears. I don’t like talking about it. Because sometimes it becomes a competition of who has been sadder. Just because I did not take any uppers or downers doesn’t mean I don’t know of hard it is to peal yourself from your bed. How heavy your heart feels and how it tugs you away from yourself. How two versions of myself live together the darkness versus the light. The light versus the darkness. How sometimes I can’t even find the words to articulate that experience because I am to consumed by feeling yours.
In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happenend to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.