Sometimes I just want to be old. Sitting out on my porch watching the waves crash in. Sipping on sweet tea. My hair sparkling with silver. With you sitting by my side. Filled with stories and sentimentality. For now I keep trying to make the best moments to look back on.
We are coming up to the point when I could loose you. Yet when I step back, you step closer. When I push back, you hold me. Not light or carelessly but firm, steady, and kind. Yet I ache to know if you are about to disappear like all the rest. Even though you are unlike any that have come before you. My mind dwelling on your untold secrets which I don’t think exist as you appear to be the exception. Time rushes by quick and effortlessly. You are quite, calculated and ambitious. You make me feel calm and protected. Such feelings are un-charted terrain and I gulp back each breath of fresh air. When I look ahead there is no fog just many tumbling hills. Do you see the same?
“I have noticed that if you look carefully at people’s eyes the first five seconds they look at you, the truth of their feelings will shine through for just an instant before it flickers away.”—Sue Monk Kidd (via estherseas)
“In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting.”—Robert Glover (via tellmefive)
“Samantha: It’s like I’m reading a book… and it’s a book I deeply love. But I’m reading it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you… and the words of our story… but it’s in this endless space between the words that I’m finding myself now. It’s a place that’s not of the physical world. It’s where everything else is that I didn’t even know existed. I love you so much. But this is where I am now. And this who I am now. And I need you to let me go. As much as I want to, I can’t live your book any more.”—Her
Afternoon naps are supposed to be delightful bits of luxury. Filled with extra rest and daydreams. Instead I lay shivering alone, my brain wrapped in darkness. It’s as if I was given a glimpse into the world you are in now. A world without me and one with her. Yet my unconscious plays cruel jokes as your life and mine collide once again in my apartment. I had let you go long ago. Hopefully this was the last as my brain catches up on the backlog and processes you away for good.
“Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.”—Ray Bradbury (via xokrista)
How do you become a better person? Do you just decide and that’s it? The path to change is bright and I cherish the glimpses you share of your journey with me. I revel as I watch your confidence bubble over as your eyes gleam and shoulders stand proud. I am glad you made these choices because perhaps our collision would not have occurred. Sitting across from you today becomes harder to focus as magic beans and one trick pony blur the edges around us. As If we are in a painting etching out the noise around us. It’s just us and that’s when I catch myself falling a little bit harder. The moment is filled with to much perfection, hops and hope.
“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.”—Carl Sagan (via exotictastee)