I keep dreaming. I wish for windy roads lined with cherry trees. Cob houses filled with books and laughter. Ralph Lauren sheets and home-made quilts. Gardens spilling over with peonies and peas. Surf boards and bikes leaning against sheds. Stoves that bake banana bread and pizza. Back yards…
I’m missing on you hard today. I love learning new things. My mind feels excited and invigorated by the challenges of this week. Yet I miss your smell. I am in dire need of being tucked into your arms tightly. To feel you kneed the stress of my day out of my shoulders. I miss your heat. In need of your kisses and tickles and pokes. I wish coming home meant coming home to you.
My black heart was a little depleted. Any amount of time felt fleeting and inconclusive. Yet you know how to mend it. Words are mere formalities and not required. Each tickle and playful pinch. Each glanced exchanged. I see hope in your eyes. I can taste my future on your lips. Even in the sticky summer humidity I don’t want to slip away. Rather to content to remain heart to heart within your arms.
I’m not very good at being alone lately. The sadness is substantial pressing down on each and every pore. I sip warm tea slowly. Trying to practice gratitude. The warmth of the mug. The flavor’s resting on my tongue. I will it to repair the breaks on my black heart. To dry up the salt streaming from my brown eyes. There is usually a reason for this brokenness. Yet I’m grasping to explain this insanity.
“i love you with claws
and lungs, a longing
to tear open the sky
to feel against me warmth
(your shade and color)
to be burned by
that beautiful quality
of light.”—the dust dances too (via thedustdancestoo)
Your arms are wrapped around my waist. You hold me in tight as we walk through the cool night together. Criss crossing down the quite streets hidden away from the bustle. I glance over and you are looking at the stars. So clear and dark. It’s hard not to get lost in the expanse above us as…
7. Love (generously, often and deeply): crush hard on strangers. Fall in love with moments. Smile at people you’ll never see again. Fall deeply in love all over again. Even when you get your heart broken, celebrate your pain and vulnerability and openness and courage. Watch movies and cry. Spend the day holding her/his hand. Say I love you every day of your life. Cuddle like a motherfucker.
10. Let go: for everything you aren’t in control of (and for everything you should relinquish control of), learn to let go. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Forgive others for the pain they’ caused you. There’s virtue and strength in forgiveness. There’s freedom and beauty in fluidity. There’s joy and lightness in a world without time.
“So many people glorify and romanticize “busy”. I do not. I value purpose. I believe in resting in reason and moving in passion. If you’re always busy/moving, you will miss important details. I like the mountain. Still, but when it moves, lands shift and earth quakes.”—Joseph Cook (via seulray)