My Farewell To Arms.
Generally everything has an expiry date. There comes a point were you just need to move on. Experiences shape who you are and luckily you can take those memories, those moments, and if you are truly lucky some relationships with you as well.
There are certain major moments were I have said goodbye and that moment is freeze framed into the trenches of my brain.
I remember the last day I looked at the theater in my old high school This space which was my home for three years. The way in the darkness I could still see sparks of friendship, courage, and excitement.
When I left for Katimavik and my family stood waving good bye in the airport. I still remember the fear in my voice when I yelled I love you.
The early morning when I stood with M at the ferry terminal not wanting to let go from his hug. Yet managed to whisper goodbye and make my way onto the ferry. I sat at the end of the boat watching the dock disappear among the crashing waves.
My final exam at University I can still feel the rush of relief when I finished my last sentence and handed in the paper. This mix of freedom and comfort when I breathed in the cool air outside the exam room.
When I think of these moments I remember the struggle and how I wrestled with the doubt of the unknown. Yet excitement countered the doubt and the potential from the unknown always gave me that swift kick to keep going.
The part about letting go is the hardest. It’s this naive ideal were if you leave a person behind it will never quite be the same. Generally it never is. For me the small moments are what make it. The day to day shenenagons are the hidden gems that make it all worth it.
Yet we cannot stay drifting. The doubt of making a change can only hold us for so long. Let the excitement take over and help that propel you to make a jump.
As I get ready to say yet another goodbye, a goodbye to what has been my life for five years, i’m letting the excitement in. While at the same time holding those memories of the people that surrounded me as they are the ones that made the battle bearable.
The best part is the future is filled with many more moments and if you don’t say goodbye now you just might miss them.